私はむしろ、バッファローが私の耳に下痢·ダ

leomanaids:

bitchcraftandwiggatry:

dirudo:

"I’m not rich"

image

"But I have a big dick"

image

"I don’t have a big dick"

image

"But I am rich"

image

"I’m rich"

image

"And I have a big dick"

image

compassionandcooking:

sherlockboi:

Feels spam, prapare to cry.

Oh it’s alright, I didn’t really need all those tears anyway

worsting:

real friends are those ones who answer at your messages in 0.2 seconds and those ones who want to talk with you all day long 

no-business-like-broadway:

Amen.

tofftoffgalinda:

She wrote on my leg. I feel privileged.

kawaiigod:

sex in the shower? no. slip and bust my ass. break my dick. she slippin too. she knock her head on the tile she passed out. bleedin. i cant walk cause my jimmy snapped. thought this was gonna be sexy and we both end up half dead.

My dad ran into an old friend of his today, and they were catching up...
Friend: "So how's your daughter doing?"
Dad: "Great! She's in college now, and she's doing really well. We're really proud of her."
Friend: "What's she studying?"
Dad: "Political Science."
Friend: "And does she have a boyfriend?"
Dad: "Actually, she came out as gay several years ago."
Friend: "You know that's... UNNATURAL... right??"
Dad: "No, I don't think so, actually. My daughter's sexual orientation is a biological reality. It makes biological sense to me. You know what doesn't make biological sense? Her damned cat walks on a leash. A LEASH. Just trots along on a leash like a damned dog. It's the weirdest thing I've ever seen in my life. THAT is what's unnatural."
Best dad ever

egberts:

did anyone ever find out why daniel radcliffe was walking all those dogs

hotsundayschoolteacher:

earthdad:

Girls need to stop wearing crop tops or I might have to resort to action by tickling them and blowing on their tummies bc they’re so darn cute

this post ended well